I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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