i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize