why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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