is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Randomize