dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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