He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Randomize