PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize