I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
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