I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Are these your boobs on my camera?
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
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