Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
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