FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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