Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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