Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize