i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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