I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize