I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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