This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize