I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize