Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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