I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Acid is not a monday night drug
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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