its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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