ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't judge my taste in strippers
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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