I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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