i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
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I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
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If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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