I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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