Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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