I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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