Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Randomize