They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I just want to make out with him forever
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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