Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize