I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize