im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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