just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
My breasts were aching with rage.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
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