If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize