If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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