I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize