I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
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what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
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