Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
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im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
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im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
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