He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
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Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
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When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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