saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize