The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
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