When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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