That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I woke up under a house in Key West
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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