I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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