My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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