i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize