Define "chronic" masturbator.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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