Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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