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He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
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