Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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