i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Randomize